What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

man in pensive mood while trying to write on his notebook | New Chapter Psychotherapy | Online Therapy Across Ontario

Being in a committed relationship is blissful and can be everything that you have dreamed of. There are times, though, when there are challenges. Challenges which may be too much to bear. There might be intense anger, grief, loss of trust, intimacy issues or a sense of betrayal in the relationship. Communication may be reduced, leading to more arguments, tension, less time spent together and emotional distance. If not addressed, you may have some deep fears. You may feel that the ongoing issues may lead to irreparable relationship breakdown. You may be worried that the emotional distance could negatively impact your children’s perception of love and relationships if children are involved. You may feel like you’re living with a stranger in your home. You may be scared that if you continue drifting apart, your spouse may leave you and find solace in another person.

To address your fears and issues in your relationship, you may turn to self-help books for insight, but they offer generic advice that doesn’t seem to apply to your unique problems. You may engage in online forums to get recommendations, but you’re met with judgment from strangers. You may contact your friends for marital advice, but their advice often contradicts each other, and it is embarrassing to share your deep marital issues with them. While these options may provide some valuable insight, they do not offer a customized solution you and your partner can use to learn the tools and strategies to stay happily married. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic solution to strengthen couple relationships.

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Les Greenbergis, is a form of short-term couples therapy or marital counselling that aims to improve couple relationships. It addresses marital conflicts and strengthens emotional bonds, reigniting the spark in relationships.

A trained therapist uses a system of 9 steps across 3 stages. There is the de-escalation stage, where your negative interaction patterns and emotions related to attachment issues are identified, and the issues are reframed.

A restructuring of negative patterns follows it. This allows partners to be more responsive to each other’s needs.

In Consolidation, the final stage, couples learn and work on new communication strategies together.

Why is Emotionally Focused Therapy beneficial?

Emotionally focused therapy helps couples develop greater emotional awareness, empathy, management, and well-being. This fosters greater impulse control because you are less likely to respond impulsively when aware of your feelings.

In addition, it caters to your emotional well-being and enables a more significant connection in the relationship.

Couples can also cope with unhelpful emotions and mental health conditions such as depression and eating disorders.

Overall, couples have greater emotional intelligence, which aids in personal growth and strengthens the marital bond.

How Can You Find The Right Counsellor?

Whether it’s about rekindling trust and love or coming to terms with the end of a chapter, couples therapy ensures that the decision is made with deep reflection, mutual respect, and a genuine desire for each partner’s well-being.

At New Chapter Psychotherapy, we believe that having access to a trustworthy, attuned, dependable, and competent mental health professional is the first step toward authentic and sustainable healing.

Every relationship is cherished and respected. Whether you identify within the 2SLGBTQIA+ spectrum or seek guidance in pre-marital, marital, or non-married dynamics, our goal remains to foster healthy relationships and nurture strong connections. We’re equipped to navigate challenges, including infidelity, sexual concerns, trauma, and infertility. Your journey, unique and diverse, is honoured here.

Every love story deserves to be nurtured and strengthened.

We help you get the tools & support you need to reconnect.

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Providing in-person and virtual therapy in Ottawa and across Ontario. Appointments are available in both English & French.

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